Trying to plan perfection is extremely stressful! Let’s face it, you want your wedding day to be perfect and every detail to be exactly as you dreamed it would be for X amount of time. Regardless of your personality type or how laid back you are, there will be stress. The trick is making the plans and carrying them out with the least amount of stress or conflict because no one wants to post bail for a crazy bride who just killed her soon to be mother-in-law.
So, put away the sharp implements away and let’s get down to it.
1st: Make a Plan & Be Prepared. You’re engaged, you’ve set a date…..now what? Get your lists going and by that I mean those ones you can download on the internet or buy the wedding planning book loaded with them on Amazon or just wing it but you need to set a timeline, set a budget, figure out when you need to get things done and why. By now you are asking, “How does more work cause less stress?” My answer to that is, “You’re going to have to do it sooner or later and you will have less stress if you know which direction you’re going instead of running around in circles like a hamster on a wheel not going anywhere.”
2nd: For the Love of God, Get a Wedding Planner. We see it every day and deal with it every day, the couple without the wedding planner. Please, please, do not be that couple. The ones that think they can do it all and have it turn out ….somehow….okay? Yikes! More so than that, it’s a lot more work for the rest of the world having to take care of your sorry butts and we are begging you for your own sanity and everyone else’s hire a person who know what they are doing! That’s what pros are for. Would you build your own house if you didn’t do that as a professional? No! Wedding planners are essential for wonderful, less-stress weddings, period! More so, a wedding planner will give you lists and help you through them so you could actually skip #1 above and go over that with the pro. If you need more reasons for getting a Wedding Planner then read my last blog, it’s all in there. Do I Need a Wedding Planner? YES!!! (chateaudunuage.com)
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3rd: Let Everyone Else Know What to Expect. Managing expectations allows people to understand what’s expected of them and let’s them know you’re in charge. Specifically, let them know what you are paying for and where everything is happening. If you are paying for the bridesmaid dresses, tell them. If you are putting people up in a hotel, tell them. If you flying people in then let them know. And if you’re not then you need to make that clear also. Some people don’t have the budget to fly Aunt Mildred over from Somerset but you still need to let her know you’d love for her to be there….you’re just not paying for it. Keep in mind though, generosity, gratitude, and kindness can go a long way in getting people on your side and supporting you through this wonderful time of your life. Taking the guess work out of what’s expected of someone also lowers their stress levels resulting in less conflict as your big day approaches. To put that another way, if your maid of honor knows that you’re paying for her dress and you’re finding her a place to stay when she flies in from Balitmore plus a ride from the airport may very well result in a happy maid of honor or as happy as that person ever was. If you chose Attila the Hun as your maid of honor well, that’s your problem and you’re gonna have to deal with it.
4th: Take Care of Yourself. Take note that these are not in order of priority. You should always take care of yourself but let’s go over the basics.
* Get Enough Sleep: If you’re having trouble then try a relaxation strategy such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing. There is so much more to this that it deserves it’s own blog post but that will have to wait for another day.
* Eat Healthy: Keep it simple, plan ahead, and even cook ahead so that after a long day, dinner’s an easy grab and I don’t mean fast food. The invention of the Instant Pot is as good as the wheel in my book. Some people even refer to it as a cult but well worth the indoctrination. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then go here: The Instant Pot Cult Is Real | TASTE (tastecooking.com)
* Exercise: Any form will do. You will feel better and it'll earn you some endorphins. According to J. Kip Matthews, PhD, a sports psychologist, the rise in endorphins during exercise can be so powerful that studies have shown it can be just as effective as counseling or medication when it come to lowering depression and anxiety. It’s your very own chill pill.
* Take Some Time: That’s right just take it. Turn off your phone and go for a walk or drive down to the lake and just stand by the water and breathe. (We can do that in Washington cause it’s not Florida or Australia where you might get eaten by a large reptile.)
5th: The Day Before is NOT a Crazy Day. Everything should be in place by the time this day comes around (especially if you have a Wedding Planner!) so here are a few suggestions as to what to do with yourself the day before this all important event:
* Get a Massage: Schedule it in advance and go de-stress the real way.
* Delegate: If something still needs doing, ask someone else to do it.
* Take a yoga class or meditate.
* Enjoy a fun Rehearsal Dinner with your wedding party.
* Watch a movie or read a book or just listen to music.
* Work Out: Do one of your favorite work outs or go for a hike (nothing dangerous, mind you)
* Take a Luxurious Bath: Grab a bath bomb, bubbles, or both, turn on the music, and lounge in a nice hot tub for a good hour.
* Just Breathe: Take it all in and ground yourself. Something wonderful is about to happen.
6th: Let It Go. That’s right! In the words of Queen Elsa, “Let It Go!” There are plenty of things in this world to worry about and worrying never fixed anything. If it’s not going to happen then it’s not going to happen so let it go. You hopefully have all your priorities in order so if the flowers came in a little too pink well, then they’re a little too pink. If you have a small tear in your dress then grab a safety pin. It’s going to be great!
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